He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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