You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
