Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
