grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
