i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
