508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i love accidental penises.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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