if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I understand Curling. That high.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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