You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
