Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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