i already hear my dad disowning me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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