I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
