he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
