she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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