Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
