and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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