I just pynch a tree in the face
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
