i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
