my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
