Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
