i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
