tell your sister to shave her snatch
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
