i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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