you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
