I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
