Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
