Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
