I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
