Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
