i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
