My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
