I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
