My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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