this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize