He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
