I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
