what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
