No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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