I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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