I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
