Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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