I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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