I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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