do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
