brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
