i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
