I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
