tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
