i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
