I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
