At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
did you just send me my own nude
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
