Define "chronic" masturbator.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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